


Cryptids Anonymous

by AnonManon



Series: Cryptid Steven Universe [3]
Category: Gravity Falls, Mothman (Folklore), Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Cryptid Steven Universe, Drabble, Gen, Humor, Implied/Referenced Cannibalism, Not Beta Read, Older Dipper Pines, Post-Canon, Post-Series, Short, Short One Shot, Steven Universe Travels The World, We Die Like Men, West Virginia, Wordcount: 100-500, vague understanding of folklore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-10
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:54:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24109315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonManon/pseuds/AnonManon
Summary: Mothman, meet Pink Man.
Series: Cryptid Steven Universe [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1739491
Comments: 3
Kudos: 73





	Cryptids Anonymous

I went cave-diving in West Virginia and found this message carved into the wall. I translated it as best I could:

“I was flying above the woods and all of a sudden I saw this pink flash out of the corner of my eye. My curiosity is obviously piqued, so I fly over and see a human who is at the very least older than seven sitting on a log with a pink jacket wrapped around his waist.”

“I stay there watching him from my perch on the highest tree for a while because I haven’t decided if this kid warrants a 3 AM snack yet. And it’s lucky that I was indecisive that night because right about the time he starts looking like a Kraft Single, the child begins to glow bright pink.”

“I look deep inside myself, and I say to myself ‘Mothman. I get that you like light, anyone would get that. You are a moth."

"'But you are also a man.'"

"'You must look deep within your heart and ask: Does any human do that?’ And I don’t hang out with humans in casual conversation, so I legitimately do not know! But I’m sixty-seven percent sure that the answer to that question is, ‘No! Humans do not recreationally glow pink unless they are very, _very_ sick, probably!’”

“The boy looked like he was getting angry, and I could tell that his face was a face that didn't get angry that often which was kinda nice because you don't meet a lot of people like that nowadays. You also don't meet a lot of people who can crack a log with their hands very often, which is what he did with semi-practiced ease, so I took that as my cue to leave. When I came back to that same spot the next morning, all I found was a crater with a small yellow post-it note in the center that said ‘Sorry about your clearing, I’ll clean it up’. Smiley face.”

"There's a special bottle of silk I keep locked up for occasions like this and it hasn't seen the sunlight in nearly thirty-seven years. That is very much going to change, very soon."

I’m honestly not quite sure what to make of it, but I’ll put it in the journal!

\- D. P.

**Author's Note:**

> Also, Mothman is played by John Mulaney in this version.


End file.
